As anyone married will tell you, relationships take a lot of work and require the cultivation of mutual respect and patience along the way. The day you get married may well be the happiest of your life (until perhaps you give birth to your first child), but it doesn’t come with a cast-iron guarantee of a fairy tale happily-ever-after ending.
This isn’t a Walt Disney film, this is real life, and unfortunately, the registrar doesn’t hand over a manual on your wedding day, along with your marriage certificate, which details the 101 ways to be a better a wife.
If Life is a Rollercoaster Then Marriage is the Biggest Ride in the Park
Similar to navigating those early years of being a new parent, to be a better wife is, to a certain extent, a process of trial and error. In cockney rhyming slang they affectionally call a wife their ‘trouble and strife,’ and to a certain extent, that’s exactly what you can expect along the way. In sickness in health, for richer or poorer. You get the gist.
Marriage can at times seem like a monumental struggle, and you may wonder where it’s all going wrong, but it’s so much easier to get back on track and to be a better wife if you remember two important things: You need to have ‘you’ time, and you also need to have ‘you and him’ time. Both are equally as important in fostering a happy, healthy home life that can promote a marriage full of love and laughter and mutual respect.
Being a Better Wife isn’t About Breaking a Code or Unlocking Some Centuries-old Secret
It’s not about massive gestures of romance or trying to adhere to some unrealistic vision of a housewife that was rooted back in the 1950s. You don’t need to be a domestic goddess or a beguiling temptress to keep your man happy or to be a better wife, although indeed, prowess in the kitchen and the bedroom certainly goes a long way to keep the spice alive.
Joking Aside, as the Saying Goes, ‘Little Things Mean a Lot.’
It’s the small day-to-day stuff that can really make a difference between having a happy and contented marriage and having a difficult one filled with conflict. We’re here to dish the dirt with some simple, doable, actionable tips and advice that if you being to implement into your daily life, can go a long way to helping you achieve that mission of being a better wife. Let’s take a look at some recommendations on how to enjoy a marriage made in heaven.
Make sure that you flatter and praise your man
Men like to know where the stand and they also want to know that they are (more than) good enough for you. Whether that’s in the bedroom, with their parenting skills, their ability to fix furniture around the house, make sure that you make a conscious effort to give them a bit of praise and reassurance. If it’s not something that you are currently in the habit of doing, try it today.
Give him a big verbal high five for something that he’s done that’s made you happy and just gauge his reaction. You might be pleasantly surprised at how much your little words of encouragement affect him for the better.
Talk him up at any opportunity
If you do want to really be a better wife, then start by letting your man know how much you love, admire and respect him. If the opportunity arises to big up your man to your family and friends, then take the chance to do it. If he hears you singing his praises to your Mom on the phone, this will give him a sense of pride and show him just how lucky you feel like a wife to have him in your life.
Listen to each other. Take time to talk and put the phones away for a while
When you partner has something important to say, give him the respect you’d also wish for and stop doing whatever it is you’re currently doing, to listen to what he has to say and engage in conversation with him. Hanging onto that mobile phone and checking the group chat is downright disrespectful and it won’t hurt to leave the school moms waiting 10 minutes for a response.
Give your husband your undivided attention for a few minutes to show that you appreciate him and what he has to say. Automatically this will help you both feel far more connected, and you never know, he might just have something interesting to say.
Be supportive of his endeavors, pastimes and most importantly his choice of friends
You may well be the most important thing in his life and him in yours, but it’s important that neither of you gives up on the things that make you unique and that you love to do and that includes who and how you choose to hang out with when you’re not together. Hanging out with other men is important to your man just as hanging out with the girls is to you. It’s so important that you both retain your sense of individuality and are still able to express aspects of those personalities that brought you together before he decided to put a ring on your finger.
So, allow your man to spend time with his guy gang from time to time. If he enjoys a few carefree moments, a bit of time out with fewer responsibilities occasionally, he’ll get a boost of happiness and self-worth that will translate positively into your marriage, and you will be the one to reap the rewards of a happier, more contented husband.
Be prepared to give him his space and alone time when he needs it
Men and women are different, it’s an undeniable fact of life. Generally speaking, women like to do just that, talk things out. Men on the other hand sometimes prefer to retreat into solitude to mull something over and reflect upon how they’re busy day at work went in their own privacy. If that’s the case with your man, just go with the flow.
Give him the space to breathe and to decompress after a long day at work before you go head-on into the inquisition about what happened in his day. We know you’re only interested and trying to engage in conversation, but sometimes, it’s good just to take your foot off the gas and allow him to start up the post work chat.
Be supportive of each other's goals and aspirations
Whether that’s a new hobby, a fitness regime, a business idea, try and encourage him to pursue his dreams. Be his very own cheerleader.
Finally, try saying ‘yes’ from time to time when you might usually be inclined to say ‘no’
OK, so the honeymoon period is over, and you think it’s time, to be honest. You actually really hate heavy metal, and you’re not prepared to go with him to another thrash metal concert. Fair enough, we can’t blame you. However, don’t say no to everything, even if they are activities that you don’t necessarily love yourself.
You might be surprised how much impromptu fun you can have together if just say yes every once in a while to something new. The more you participate in fun activities together, the more you will enjoy the time you spend together and the better wife you will become.
It’s clear that you love your husband very much and are keen to be a better wife, otherwise you wouldn’t be taking the time to do the research and to read this article. If you feel like it’s really time for you to take control and to do something proactive, a great source of information on the subject is the Save the Marriage online course. It will provide you with some amazing additional tips to shake up your marriage and be a better wife so we highly recommend that you check it out today.