When you are in a marriage which appears to be broken, the range of emotions which you will experience can be extensive.
Depression, anger, fear, resentment can present themselves at any moment, but perhaps the one which has the most damaging effect is the hopelessness which occurs due to not knowing which way to turn in order to fix your marriage.
While this article will not provide you with every answer or every solution, it will at least give you some ideas as to some of the steps you can take to fix a broken marriage.
Deciding You Want to Fix Your Marriage
The first step, and one which may require a lot of soul searching, is deciding whether or not you actually want to fix, and thus save, your marriage. There will be many reasons which may occur to you as justification for trying, but you need be sure that these reasons are the right ones.
Sticking with a marriage for reasons such as the sake of children, financial considerations, peer pressure or to simply save face does not provide you with the proper foundation if you want to resurrect it and make it successful. This is due to the fact that none of these, no matter how appealing they may be to you, require any of the necessary changes by either you or your spouse, that will actually save your marriage.
You will both be obliged to make positive changes only if the reasons you want to stay married to each other include love, loyalty, companionship, and committing yourselves to each other for the rest of your lives. To achieve any of these, especially if your marriage has been faltering, will necessitate you both changing the ways you approach your marriage, and respond to each other for that matter.
To get a greater insight into assessing why your marriage should be saved and the pathway to saving it, you should check out the 'Save the Marriage' program. This has a vast array of reports and guides to help you save your marriage, including how to determine your genuine reasons for doing so.
5 Ways to Fix Your Broken Marriage
Firstly, although this section states '5 ways,' that does not mean there are only five ways to fix a marriage. We say that because every married couple is different, and more to the point, each marriage has two individuals, each of whom will respond positively or negatively to certain situations.
We suggest that you read through them and try to evaluate which of them you feel will not only apply to both you and your partner, but which ones will also bring you the most benefits in terms of where your marriage is at this moment.
Agree What You Want Your Marriage to Look Like
If you and your spouse have agreed that you want to fix your marriage, then it begs the question, ‘How will you know if, and when, you have fixed it?’ The point we are trying to make is, just as with any other type of plan, the plan to fix your marriage needs to have an agreed goal.
To determine that goal, you and your spouse should discuss and agree on what your marriage should look like when you have gone through the process of fixing it. You can make that definition as simple or detailed as you want, as long as you are both agreed on your marriage is going to be.
Keep It Private
Each individual will have their own view on how much of their personal lives they share with others such as close friends and family. When it comes to fixing a marriage, it is advised that you keep any troubles you are having under wraps and that includes the plans you and your spouse have agreed on that relate to saving it.
The main reason for this is that well-meaning family and friends will furnish you with their own thoughts and advice on what you should do. The problems here are that advice could be skewed in favor of one of you depending on the relationship with that person, and second, it may run contrary to any changes you've agreed upon.
Admit Your Part in Your Marriage Problems
They say confession is good for the soul, and when it comes to assessing your marriage difficulties, it certainly applies when you accept your role in your marriage difficulties.
This can actually be one of the most positive steps you can take, because if you are both admitting where you might have made mistakes, then the temptation to blame each other is greatly reduced. This produces a more conducive atmosphere in terms of discussing how you can each make changes in order to fix your marriage.
Be Prepared to Make Compromises
Following on from accepting your share of the responsibility for your marriage having problems and having discussed what you and your partner are going to change within your relationship, you should be prepared to make compromises. That does not mean you agree with every single request your spouse makes of you going forward, but that you look at all of these from their perspective.
This will apply to what they ask of you, and what you might ask of them too. In other words, you may make a request to them that they might only be able to commit to 70% instead of 100%. If that is the case, try to look upon the 70% as positive, instead of the missing 30% as a negative.
Stay Patient Even When You Have a Setback
The road to fixing a marriage will not be smooth nor will it be without the occasional setback, and when they happen you need to show patience. You partner may fall back into an old bad habit temporarily, or the rekindled passion you might have each other may be dampened occasionally.
The key is to look at the overall picture and focus on all the positive steps forward you have made, rather than picking at the occasional setback. Marriages are not fixed overnight so stay the distance.
Fixing a broken marriage will take calm heads and compromises from both parties, but neither of these will be of any use, without considered information and a plan to move forward. These and many other solutions can be found in 'Save the Marriage' which is one of the premier programs online designed to help couples fix their marriage.