Marriage. While for most people it is a dream come true, for some, very soon it turns into a disaster.
And this is especially a problem in the times we are living in – hectic lifestyles, no room for privacy, and a lot of external factors that can all have an influence on the couple’s bond.
Wedding day is one of the best days people have in their lifetime as it is the time when their family and friends come together and celebrate the love between a couple.
But the problem with marriage is that once it gets formalized, some people’s affections seem to slowly wear away and they stop nurturing their relationship as they did in its beginnings. And this is only the ignition for what later results in constant arguments, with divorce as a final consequence.
But if you aware of the potential issues that marriage might come with, you can do your best to prevent them, right?
Same as with regular health checkups – visit your doctor a few times a year and even if a certain condition might be trying to make its way through, you will be aware of it and do everything in your power to prevent it from early on.
Prevention once again is better than cure. By being aware that marriage shouldn’t differ from your regular dating relationship, apart from the beautiful wedding rings that you are now wearing and the memories from the wedding day, there should be no other changes.
A healthy marriage will be the one where the flame never fades away. ‘Save the Marriage’ is here to help; let’s take a look at a few tips to make your marriage work.
Tips on Living a Divorce-proof Marriage
First and foremost, the best way you can make ensure a divorce-proof marriage is to make it your No. 1 priority. Even if you already have children, put their needs aside for a second, and satisfy your partner’s.
And if it means running late on your work schedule, or missing an episode of your favorite television show, it is fine – with a healthy marriage everything will find its place and all things will be working out in the long term. Remember, happy children are those that have good parents as role models that they can look up to and consult on important life topics.
You should never stop investing in your relationship. Yes, you might have formalized it with marriage, but that doesn’t mean it is time to sit back and become lazy.
On the contrary – try to be more engaging than ever and suggest interesting trip ideas, go out on an adventure, and try out something new. Let your partner know that they are the one you enjoy spending your free time with, gathering memories that you will look back upon in a few decades.
While you should always invest in your relationship, you should never compare it to others. ‘Save the Marriage’ suggests that it is much better to surround yourself with people that are in a functional marriage, than a couple who are arguing all the time.
This doesn’t mean that you should set out a score and measure who has a better marriage – it is just a great way to get a few new ideas on surprising your partner; and as you know, being around positive people is the key to every success.
Accept mutual privacy and don’t forbid your partner from having some alone time or time with their friends. Respect is essential for a healthy marriage – let your partner go out and enjoy that beer with friends, or shopping for a few hours on a catch-up with the girls.
It will mean a lot to them as they will know that although you are married they still have room for their self-care and private needs.
And yes, arguments will happen but don’t make a big deal out of it, and try not to argue about ridiculous things that are rationally solvable in a matter of a few minutes. While arguing is a part of being in any type of a relationship, you should still try to sit and openly discuss the issue in a calm, respectful, and rational way.
Outcomes You Should Avoid
As we have said, the idea is to be aware of the fact that marriage shouldn’t impose any kind of restrictions on the previous routine you had in what was then a dating relationship.
There are certain signals that could work as red flags to let you know that your marriage might be going in the wrong direction and it is time to react. As we have said, if you detect a potential issue in time, your chances of making your marriage work are much higher.
If you notice that, without a reason, you are arguing more than before, it is time to sit down and openly discuss any kind of issue that might lie below the surface. Sweeping the issue under the carpet will do nothing apart from making it bigger.
Every issue is solvable with a mutual discussion. Plus, the ‘Save the Marriage’ guide provides some excellent tips on how to approach tricky topics.
One of the things you should pay attention to the most is your sex life – be sure to remain on a good path when it comes to it, and experiment with new things every now and then.
No matter how long you have been in the relationship, there are still variations that you haven’t tried and there is no reason to shy away from those. Have a mutual agreement on experimenting with roleplay, fantasies, and even sex toys. A healthy sex life is a staple for a functional marriage.
Last but not least, be sure to always support your partner and let them know how much they mean to you. As soon as you notice they are down, whether it is due to a hard workday or some other reason, surprise them with their favorite chocolates or flowers, or a romantic dinner at your favorite restaurant.
While it may sound like a fairy tale, a divorce-proof marriage is achievable and the key to it is that you keep that initial flame going the whole way through. Be grateful for and appreciate the time you spend together, surprise your partner, and be sure to make your marriage a No. 1 priority.